As a recovering perfectionist, the idea of getting everything “just right” can be incredibly luring. But, more often than not, aiming for flawlessness keeps us stuck, overanalysing every small detail instead of making tangible progress.
You’ve probably heard the phrase “progress over perfection” before – but actually living by it is another story. Letting go of perfectionism isn’t about lowering your standards though, it’s about moving forward without being held back by them – and it’s more achievable than you may think.
In this post, I’m walking you through what progress over perfection truly means and, more importantly, how you can embody it in your daily life to break free from the curse of perfectionism.
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The problem with perfectionism
Perfectionism isn’t just about striving for greatness; it often comes with an intense fear of falling short.
While you might view perfectionists as highly driven individuals who have the ability to push themselves towards high standards of success, the reality is that many of us feel paralysed by the unattainable standards we set for ourselves.
Instead of taking action, perfectionists often overanalyse, procrastinate, and avoid risks because of the fear of making mistakes. Research shows that this constant pressure leads to burnout, decision paralysis, and decreased productivity. So it’s not such a great thing, after all.
Put more simply, and in the words of Winston Churchill, “perfectionism is the enemy of progress”.
But I believe that shifting to a state of “progress over perfection” is how you can break free.
The meaning of progress over perfection
“Progress over perfection” means letting go of the unhealthy expectation for you to show up perfectly in life, and instead focusing on making progress towards your goals and the things that matter to you, no matter how flawed the process is.
Knowing this and embodying this are two separate things though, because perfectionist tendencies can run deep.
My hope is that the following tips can help you learn how to embody “progress over perfection”, so you can free yourself from its grips and find joy in the process.
How to embody progress over perfection
- Shift your mindset: embrace the learning process
As with most practices and habits you want to create in life, mindset is an important first step.
If you’ve been living your entire life with perfectionist tendencies, it can be hard to envision how you can embody a different way of living, because the way you’re thinking about things may need a little shift.
Something to remember is that the perfectionist is always thinking about the end result. Their mind is cast forward to some future version of reality where they have achieved what they want to achieve, perfectly.
At times this can be motivating, but more often than not it’s paralysing. Here’s the thing – getting from A (the place you are right now, with flaws and imperfections) to B (the perfect flawless future) can feel like one hell of a jump.
When you feel like there’s a mountain to climb and can’t foresee how on earth you’re going to get there, it can leave you thinking “why even bother?”
To overcome this, it can help to shift your mindset to one that focuses on the journey, not the destination.
Instead of thinking about the flawless outcome you want to achieve, think instead about the growth and learning that you’ll achieve on the way. When you make mistakes, consider them as lessons to improve and opportunities to get better.
When you frame things in this way, the need to be perfect becomes less of a focal point. Even if the “end result” is imperfect, you have gained so much.
When you notice yourself slipping into perfectionism, gently redirect yourself to the process. Over time it will become more natural.
- Set small, achievable goals
Part of the problem with the perfectionist mindset is the desire to go from 0-100. Focusing on the outcome and wanting to achieve it as quickly and perfectly as possible is overwhelming – and not good for your stress levels either.
It’s a lot easier to think about doing something smaller to the best of your ability than it is to tackle an entire project at once.
So as you work on shifting your mindset towards the journey and learning process, break big projects down into smaller, more manageable tasks. This can help to give you the sense of achievement you desire, and build momentum towards those bigger goals.
Once you’re on the path, you’re less likely to get paralysed by overwhelm. And, importantly, it can help to build a stronger sense of self efficacy – the belief that you’re capable of achieving the tasks you set out to do.
- Prioritise action over analysis
A strength of the perfectionist is that we have very analytical minds. We’re incredibly skilled at spotting the strengths and the flaws in the work that we create, which, when working in our favour, can help us to perform to high standards.
But, on the flip side, this analysis can lead to overthinking and inaction.
When you know you’re capable of a high standard of work, producing something substandard can feel painful. It’s almost like every cell in your being wants to reject it. You couldn’t possibly be associated with something so… imperfect.
The problem with this is that “perfectionism” takes time. In order to produce that high quality piece you’re really proud of, you have to go through a period of curation where things are imperfect by design.
I’ll give you an example… I moved into a new build over two years ago now, with a completely blank slate for a garden. I have the perfect vision for the sanctuary I would love to create to spend time in.
The problem is I’m terrified of taking action towards it. What if things don’t look right where I plant them? What if it looks ugly in the process? What if I change my mind after I place something somewhere? I want to snap my fingers and have the perfect vision appear in front of me instead.
The consequence – I have not planted a single plant in two years and my “perfect sanctuary” is no closer to existing.
The truth is, taking imperfect action is often way better than taking no action. Sometimes it’s better to just take an immediate step and see where it takes you than it is to wait for the perfect idea or method to strike.
A whole string of imperfect actions is going to bring you much closer to the outcome you desire than taking no outcome at all. It’s time to start embracing the messy process.
(Who knows, maybe this summer will be the time I start taking my own advice on this.)
- Practice self-compassion
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned over the past few years is that self compassion goes a long way.
One of the curses of perfectionism is that we’re naturally very hard on ourselves. Everybody has an inner critic, but the perfectionist’s inner critic can be incredibly loud.
A part of being a recovering perfectionist is simply reminding yourself that you are human, and humans are imperfect by nature.
When you make mistakes, treat yourself with kindness. When you’re unhappy with a result, remind yourself that “done is better than perfect”.
Treat yourself like you would someone you love. When your friends or family do something imperfectly, do you berate them and make them feel like a failure? There is absolutely no reason why you should apply different standards to yourself.
It could also help to start reframing your imperfections as gifts. According to writer and speaker Brené Brown, this is exactly what we should be doing. Showing up as your imperfect, authentic self is a gift in itself.
In The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown encourages embracing our flaws and imperfections to live a more authentic life. She explores the power of self-compassion, letting go of shame, and cultivating worthiness. Brown teaches that by being vulnerable and imperfect, we can find true connection and joy.
- Reflect and adjust regularly
If you’ve been living your life as a perfectionist, it will take time to begin to break away from the patterns and mindsets that have been holding you back.
For me personally, I have come to accept that this may be an ongoing challenge, and that’s okay. Part of accepting that I’m a work in progress is an act of rebellion against perfectionism in itself.
As you work on embodying “progress over perfection” reflect on your journey and how things are improving. This can help you to see how far you’ve come and build some of that internal self efficacy that we spoke about.
My favourite way to do this is to write in my journal, but you can also check in with your loved ones or a therapist if this is something you’re actively working on with them.
Be patient with yourself.
Why progress over perfection is worth embodying
Embracing progress over perfection isn’t just about being kinder to yourself. It’s about being able to create a life that is sustainable and fulfilling.
When you let go of the impossible expectation to be flawless, you free up time, energy, and mental space to do the things that matter to you.
Perfectionism can keep you stuck, but progress keeps you moving. By shifting your mindset, setting small goals, prioritising action, and practising self-compassion, you create space for real growth to occur.
Change won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. The goal isn’t to be perfect at avoiding perfectionism, but to take small, intentional steps towards a more balanced way of living.
In the end, what matters most isn’t how flawlessly you execute each step, but that you keep going.
Liked this post on overcoming perfectionism? Check out these related posts:
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Esther is the founder of Through the Phases, an online space dedicated to balancing personal development and self-care. From her experience living with chronic symptoms, she believes that rest is essential for a sustainable and fulfilling life. She has a degree in Psychology, is yoga teacher trained (200hr), and is currently pursuing a Neuroscience MSc to further study the mind-body connection. Read more about her story here.