Many of us are craving stillness these days. The hustle culture mindset of constant striving has worn many women down, leading to the realisation that slowing down can be just as valuable as doing more.
Enter the soft girl era – a phase rooted in slowing down, self-care, and redefining success.
In this post, I’ll be dismantling what the soft girl era is (and isn’t), why it’s rising in popularity, and how you can enter your own season of softness.
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What is a soft girl era?
A soft girl era isn’t just an aesthetic. It’s an energy that centres around slow living, sustainability, and taking care of your mind and body without the pressure of chasing constant external achievements.
It’s choosing calm over chaos and getting out of survival mode, instead embracing simplicity or what society might label “mediocre”.
While the term “soft girl era” can sound like a bit of a superficial fad, I actually love how it emphasises that this energy may be temporary. Your soft girl era might be a phase you enter when you need more stillness, but it doesn’t have to be permanent.
Equally, you might have to work hard for a season in order to get to a place where you can enter your soft girl era. Embracing these energetic shifts is what we’re all about at Through the Phases.
What a soft girl era isn’t:
Naturally, as “eras”, “aesthetics”, and “cores” trend on social media, they can start to take on a shallow and superficial nature that’s rooted in consumerism. The soft girl might get a bit of a bad rap as a result, so I think it’s important to distinguish what the soft girl era I’m discussing in this post isn’t:
- Just a social media aesthetic: Despite what it may have become, the soft girl era isn’t actually about an “aesthetic” and portraying a certain image online.
- Overconsumption: Being in your soft girl era is about embracing ease and self care, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to overspend on luxuries, chase new self care trends, and overconsume – that’s just another capitalist trend in disguise.
- Strictly feminine: When you search for soft girl inspiration online, you’ll come across a lot of posts focused around dressing feminine ie. wearing traditionally “girly” clothes. To me, softness is an energy and not a look. You can be in your soft girl era without dressing hyper-feminine!
- Never leaving your comfort zone: While self-compassion is key, being in your soft girl era doesn’t mean never challenging yourself or leaving your comfort zone. Instead, it’s recognising the things that are most important and picking your battles. Think intentional challenges over relentless pursuits.
- Giving up paid employment: Many women wanting more softness are redefining what work means to them, but that doesn’t have to mean giving up work altogether (unless that’s your goal). As Glamour Magazine point out, the soft girl era shouldn’t be used as a way to fetishise women surrending their financial independence to men.
Why the rise of the soft girl era?
The rise of the soft girl seems to largely be a response to the burnout that many women are experiencing as a result of hustle culture.
In the 2000s and 2010s, the media saw the rise of the “girlboss” or “boss babe”, which was all about breaking glass ceilings, proving ourselves as powerhouses, and showing what we’re made of. But truthfully, endless work days and high-intensity routines have left many women feeling exhausted.
There’s growing recognition that the work environment as we know it wasn’t designed with women in mind. Our 28-day hormonal rhythm isn’t the same as the 24-hour male cycle, and our energy ebbs and flows more strongly as a result. This can lead to women desiring a softer pace, at least some of the time.
Truthfully, I think up until more recently it was too controversial to say you don’t have huge career goals as a woman. On the one hand, the labour involved in being a stay at home mum or housewife has been undervalued by society, leading to shaming if a woman chooses paths like these.
On the other, admitting that having a career isn’t your number one priority post-girlboss era is often branded as a traditional and “anti feminist” ideal that goes against the progress and financial independence that other women have fought for us to have.
But, to me, feminism is about choice. Some women thrive in high-powered careers, while others prefer slower, more family and home-centred lives. Many desire something in between. And all are valid.
Crucially, something I also see neglected as part of this conversation is that climbing the career ladder in our current society isn’t accessible for all women.
Those of us managing chronic illness and other unique life circumstances deserve space to create lives that meet our unique needs and energetic capacities. For many of us that means letting go of the desire to climb to the top and leaning into a softer way of life that puts our health and our relationships centre stage.
How to be in your soft girl era
With all that being said, if softness is something you’re desiring right now, for whatever reason, here are some gentle ways to enter this era yourself.
1. Take less on
Your soft girl era is all about slowing down and embracing a more mindful and intentional approach to everyday life. This means setting boundaries around your time and being okay with taking on less commitments. This is your time to be choosey about what you say yes to. If it’s not a f*ck yes, it’s probably a no.
2. Embrace low-intensity workouts
The girlboss era gave rise to HIIT and spin classes, centred around pushing your body to its limits (and beyond). But too much high-intensity exercise can lead to overtraining and heightened cortisol. So, if you’re craving softness, explore lower intensity and more restorative options like yoga, pilates, or walking.
Related post: The Best 30 Day Yoga Challenges to Improve your Daily Practice in 2025
3. Engage in hobbies that bring joy
The rise of the soft girl era has led to many women discovering the joy that hobbies can bring. Not only this, but hobbies can provide a sense of fulfilment and purpose outside of work, which can lead to greater work-life-balance and less of a career-centred identity.
Related post: The 39 Most Relaxing Hobbies for Stress to Try in 2025
4. Be okay with a simple life
The soft girl is at peace with simplicity. This doesn’t mean abandoning goals altogether, but it’s recognising that constant striving is unsustainable, and more valued-centred goals are oftentimes more fulfilling.
5. Create calming playlists
Music can help set the tone for relaxation. Curate playlists to transform mundane tasks and invite a softness to your everyday life. I love to listen to soothing piano music while I’m working, and I feel like it helps to set the tone of a slower more intentional pace to prevent me getting sucked into hustle energy.
6. Focus on self-care
At the heart of the soft girl is a belief that you’re deserving of care, including from yourself. Self-care doesn’t have to be extravagant – a quiet moment with a cup or tea or a simple skincare routine can feel just as nourishing. Check out this post for some simple and inclusive self-care activities for different levels of functioning.
7. Nurture your relationships
With the rise of personal development and a career-obsessed culture, many of us have become overly self-focused. One of the things I love about soft girl energy is that it’s less goal-driven, leaving space for other things that matter. Stepping away from a focus on personal achievement allows us to focus on nurturing relationships with loved ones instead, which can lead to deeper connections and fulfilment long-term.
8. Spend time in nature
Reconnecting with nature is a staple for the soft girl. Nature has a way of naturally encouraging stillness and connection. Focus on spending more time outside, whether it’s taking a walk in the park or sitting by a lake, and notice how this helps to ground you.
9. Practice self-compassion
Softness means honouring your limits and being kind to yourself when rest is needed, while hustle culture wants you to push past these limits and ignore your needs. Treat yourself with compassion and recognise that you’re only human. Similarly, focus on shifting your mindset away from perfectionism and embracing “good enough” instead.
10. Romanticise the everyday
Social media and influencer culture have twisted our expectations of what is normal, leading to an underappreciation for the beauty in our everyday lives. But even small tasks can feel special with the right perspective! Find ways to romanticise everyday moments so you don’t feel the need to chase unsustainable sources of joy.
Your soft girl era is all about embracing balance and intention. It’s stepping away from the constant push to do more and centring your goals and lifestyle around other values instead.
It doesn’t have to mean giving up on ambition, but instead recognising that constant striving isn’t sustainable, and maybe a “mundane” or “boring” life to somebody else might be desirable to you.
If you crave softness, give yourself permission to embrace it! Don’t let society define your own version of success and fulfilment.
Liked this post? Check out some of these related ones:
- 27 Simple Tips to Practice a Slow Living Lifestyle
- Here’s 60 Little Ways to Romanticise Your Life Everyday
- 65 Self Compassion Affirmations to Show Yourself Kindness
And don’t forget to pin this post for later!
Esther is the founder of Through the Phases, an online space dedicated to balancing personal development and self-care. From her experience living with chronic symptoms, she believes that rest is essential for a sustainable and fulfilling life. She has a degree in Psychology, is yoga teacher trained (200hr), and is currently pursuing a Neuroscience MSc to further study the mind-body connection. Read more about her story here.